Enjoy Your Life More!

The Identity Concern.

One of the many interesting things about those of us that have grown up in this big industrialized superworld is that we’ve been trained to cultivate and manage a personal identity. It’s a very strange idea since humans roots are incredibly animal and community identities are still prevalent in many parts of the world, but we’ve got it so we should be making the most of it! Unfortunately, a lot of us are using it against ourselves and against others in really negative ways. We’re oftentimes too scared to contradict or compromise this complex and precious identity mechanism we’ve spent our whole lives constructing so we use it to limit ourselves and our enjoyment suffers greatly. Luckily, it’s an easy thing to work around; you just need to know how it’s hurting you and then grow up a bit. Not too much! But enough to realize how much power you have over yourself so you can get back to enjoying the glory of life. Instead of elaborating too heavily on the idea itself, here are some major examples of how we frequently do this to ourselves.

• Think of the person that refuses to enjoy something because it has become culturally valued when originally it was not. This person felt unique enjoying this thing under the original circumstances, but once others began to enjoy it en masse the sensation of uniqueness faded and the enjoyment ceased. Their uniqueness is in fact safe and they need to grow up.
• Think of the person that refuses to enjoy something because it is associated with children and/or teenagers. This person feels that they will compromise the maturity they possess if they enjoy something that younger people (whom they most likely perceive as foolish) enjoy as well. Their maturity is in fact safe and they need to grow up.
• Think of the person who refuses to enjoy something because it was created in unfortunate circumstances. This person feels that if they enjoy something that was created in less-than-ideal circumstances that they are diminishing their own morality by promoting turmoil. This person does not realize or believe that if we denied ourselves everything that was created in turmoil that we would have almost nothing. Their ethical core is in fact safe and they need to grow up.
• Think of the person that refuses to enjoy something because they have spent too much time decrying it. This person feels that if they change their mind after so much commitment that they are flimsy, and that others will perceive them as such. Provided a mind change occurs in honesty and during lucidity, their integrity is in fact safe and they need to grow up.
• Think of the person that refuses to enjoy something because it is simpler as an object or idea than they perceive themselves to be as a human. This person feels that they reduce themselves by enjoying trivial entertainment, mindless distractions, and petty pleasures. Their complexity is in fact safe and they need to grow up.
• Think of the person that refuses to enjoy something because their enemies and competitors enjoy it as well. This person feels that if they bear any similarity to someone of contrasting beliefs, motivations, intent, or lifestyle that they are the same as those they oppose or work against. Not only does this person not realize that an “enemy” is an unnecessarily constraining concept and that competitors are actually good for us, but they also do not realize that we are only similar to those with whom we are actually similar and that the things we enjoy are only a part of who we are. Their loyalty to themselves and their people is in fact safe and they need to grow up.

The underlying idea here is that while the things we enjoy are gigantically powerful and have the ability to change our lives for the better, they do not actually define us! The components of your identity: your maturity, complexity, uniqueness, moral/ethical core, integrity, and loyalty are not in any danger from the things you end up enjoying and there is no reason in the world to refuse enjoyment! Again, natural rejection at the hands of your senses is completely okay, but if it’s not an authentic rejection then you are doing yourself an immense disservice, and this is what I implore you to manage. You deserve it. :)

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